Definitions?

1. School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
2. Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
3. Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
4. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
5. Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.
6. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
7. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
8. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
9. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
10. Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.
11. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
12. Father: A banker provided by nature.
13. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest except that he got caught.
14. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
15. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
16. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
17. Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.
18. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
19. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
20. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
21. Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
22. Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
23. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
24. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
25. Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.