Thursday, April 17, 2008

Definitions?

  1. School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
  2. Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
  3. Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
  4. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
  5. Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.
  6. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
  7. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
  8. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
  9. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
  10. Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.
  11. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
  12. Father: A banker provided by nature.
  13. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest except that he got caught.
  14. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
  15. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
  16. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
  17. Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.
  18. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
  19. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
  20. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
  21. Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
  22. Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
  23. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
  24. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
  25. Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

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